Wednesday, January 31, 2007

The blue-feeling

I've been awfully busy with uni, and will be so - till the year ends.
Its my 3rd and final year in uni - I am anxious to graduate, but im mostly overwhelmed with stress, worries and doubts.
Next semester I'm required to complete 5 subjects, which is a rather heavy load.
I'm bearly surviving right now, hence I can only expect the worst next sem.
I've been given the benefit of selecting 2 subjects on my own, but all the subjects offered are either tough or not to my liking.
The options are; Physiological Science 2, Physics for Scientist & Engineers, Fundamental of Marketing (FOM), and Information Technology (IT).
IT is definitely not in my list and FOM has never interest me, thus I'm left with only 2 choices - ones that I'd chosen today.
I'm skeptical with the choices that I've made, because the subjects; especially Physio. Sc. 2 is very demanding and I'm not sure if I'm capable.
I hardly slept last night; thinking and analyzing each options.
I've prayed and asked God, but I know that God is not always going to give an answer - i guess that is the reason why He gave us wisdom.
I'm already having a difficult time juggling my studies, CF and basketball. However, don't misunderstand; I'm not complaining, just stating.
It's tough, i don't dare deny; but am I determined enough to cope with all of it? Will I grow weary soon?
At this point - yes! I feel completely drained, and many times I wonder - How much longer can I carry on?
God is my strenght - I've been reminded. But at this moment, I'm just feeling really down. So down that I don't think i can climb to the top again :(
I believe this blue-feeling phase will come to an end, but do hurry - cause time never stops ticking.

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