The blue-feeling

I've been awfully busy with uni, and will be so - till the year ends.
Its my 3rd and final year in uni - I am anxious to graduate, but im mostly overwhelmed with stress, worries and doubts.
Next semester I'm required to complete 5 subjects, which is a rather heavy load.
I'm bearly surviving right now, hence I can only expect the worst next sem.
I've been given the benefit of selecting 2 subjects on my own, but all the subjects offered are either tough or not to my liking.
The options are; Physiological Science 2, Physics for Scientist & Engineers, Fundamental of Marketing (FOM), and Information Technology (IT).
IT is definitely not in my list and FOM has never interest me, thus I'm left with only 2 choices - ones that I'd chosen today.
I'm skeptical with the choices that I've made, because the subjects; especially Physio. Sc. 2 is very demanding and I'm not sure if I'm capable.
I hardly slept last night; thinking and analyzing each options.
I've prayed and asked God, but I know that God is not always going to give an answer - i guess that is the reason why He gave us wisdom.
I'm already having a difficult time juggling my studies, CF and basketball. However, don't misunderstand; I'm not complaining, just stating.
It's tough, i don't dare deny; but am I determined enough to cope with all of it? Will I grow weary soon?
At this point - yes! I feel completely drained, and many times I wonder - How much longer can I carry on?
God is my strenght - I've been reminded. But at this moment, I'm just feeling really down. So down that I don't think i can climb to the top again :(
I believe this blue-feeling phase will come to an end, but do hurry - cause time never stops ticking.

Insomia?

It has been more than awhile since i'd updated my blog.
Assignments, lab reports etc. have been pouring in like rain, since day one.
I think i'm going to drown soon - not literally speaking, of course!
I'm physically worn out, spiritually dry, and mentally and emotionally exhausted!
It is only the beginning of my third year in Uni, and it feels as if my soul has been sucked out of me.
I am certain that it'll get busier, yet i hope that it will not.

I'm supposed to be in bed by now, but my mind is still in working mode.
I am clueless on whether i'll be able to keep awake in class later.
I refuse to be caught asleep in Mr. Patrick's class, he'll probably kill me on the spot!
On second thought, i've never slept in any of my lectures before :p even if i had only two hours of sleep.
It's one of my principles, cause i find it rather rude - sleeping in class, when the lecturer is giving his/her best to educate us ...i hope they are.
Great! It's already 3 am and im still wide awake. *grumbles and mumbles..
I really need sleep :(

Stop being mean

I've come to realise that people can be really mean, im not sure if it's due to ignorance or maybe their just plain heartless?
I believe that no one is born mean, as in really mean.
There's definitely traces of compassion somewhere, or maybe I'm always trying too hard to find the good in everyone?
Well I'm just truly glad that God is a compassionate person, or I'll be in trouble all the time! haha
It takes great effort to be kind, but it takes nothing to be a mean person.
At times I'm tempted to return a punch and maybe a kick to their behinds just for the sake of getting even, but i know that i'll most likely end up kicking and punching for the rest of my life!
It is so much easier returning evil for evil, but life would be so much better if we were all to do it the opposite way.
I thank God that He reminds me of His compassion and mercy daily, especially when I feel like striking back.

P.s. If you're one of the mean ones, please be less meaner :)

Go! Go!

The first session of basketball training will begin today in uni, at 4.30 pm.
Its been almost half-a-year since ive touch the ball. My Nike basketball has been sitting under the staircase, collecting dust.
My youngest sis, Charis has also began her training; so i tagged along to one of her training session on saturday.
Well i thought that i was still in quite good shape haha.. but to my dismay, i was worst than bad; my stamina was not even at level zero, it's negative!
After running around a lil while, i was exhausted and my arms became wobbly that i couldnt even shoot from the free throw line. There were plenty of airballs :(
It was humiliating!

Thankfully, no one there knew me personally haha.
Hence after all the embarassment, ive decided to subject myself to a very strict diet and exercise routine everyday - starting today!

This is what i had for breakfast this morning; everything low-fat!

It doesn't look appetizing, but it's quite yummy hehe

I'm not sure how long i'll stick to this overly-healthy routine of mine, but i'm very determine. Thus if i were to decline sneaker bars or chocolates or anything-that-will-only-add-weight-to-my-already-heavy-bottom, please be understanding :) And dont tease or mock me if you see me eating a bowl of salad for lunch :P

Y'know, i even woke up at 7.15 am this morning so that i could go jogging. Haha.. but i ended up walking most of the time hehe

But i will not be dishearten. By the end of this month, i'll be running faster than the speed of light and i'll be jumping higher than You! hahaha...

Im back!

Im back online sooner than i'd expected, but am glad to be connected again.
Even though it has only been a few days, yet it felt like weeks.
Just started uni this week, and since then assignments, lab reports and presentations have been pouring in continuosly!
Looking at the load of work that needs to be completed within the semester, is truly terrifying.
I thought the first week would be a relaxing one, unfortunately i was proven wrong in every way possible.
I guess im still day-dreaming too much; dwelling in the days when i was still a freshman in uni, when i only had 3 days of classes in a week, when i used to spend every evening in the week playing basketball - getting bruisers and swollen ankles... *sigh.. those were really good times, well not so much when it comes to the bruising part hehe
However its not to say im dreading my present time in uni; its just really energy-draining, and i believe its due to insufficient rest.
I almost immediately got back to uni, right after slaving myself-away for 2 months of industrial training.
I hope the uni will be kind enough to give us a longer break after completing the training, next year.
Anyhow its a new year, hence i want to start the year on a right-footing, attitude and maybe a new look? haha..
I wanted to go red; y'know dye my hair red since blonde isnt my colour haha..but had too many second thoughts that i finally decided not to.
Oh well, the year 2007 looks bright ahead.
With the Lord by my side, all will be a-okay! :)

I need to start writing down my new year's resolutions.
Hmm..where's the pen and paper??

Short break

It'll be a lil difficult to update my blog as often as i do, for maybe the whole month of January.
Im unable to connect online and the Streamyx guy would probably come over later in the week. So just bear with me for a lil while.
That's all for now. Take care!