Over and done with

I feel as if ive lost 10kg! Glad that the presentation is finally over and done with. It went well and my mates did an excellent job. We were all very nervous, but everyone gave their best =)
But our happiness was cut short, when the lecturers present there told us that we were out of context. We were puzzled, especially me and i lost my temper.

Lately, ive been a lil impatient and cranky. I was very strong with my words and expressions when i defended my team. The lecturers werent happy about it, and it was clearly shown on their faces. It isnt a surprise if im already blacklisted by them.

Anywayz, i still feel we did well and we were 'in context'. If you would like to know more in detail about it, do come and see me personally. I'll gladly pour out by discontenment and frustration. The lecturer should have told us earlier when we handed in the educational tool. There werent any bad remarks about it, instead she complimented us for our hardwork. Therefore by saying that our presentation wasnt 'in context' is simply contradicting, because the contents were taken from the educational tool!! I dislike hypocrites! Who doesnt?

tsk tsk..but no point getting agitated by it anymore. What is done, is done. Im just hoping that she'll still reward us marks for our presentation, and that it'll have lil affect on our overall results.

My mum has warned me many times about losing my 'coolness'. Im embarrass by my actions and I ask that God will forgive me. I truly need God's help! And I hope He gives me a knock on the head as a reminder, if i were to be in such situations again.

All i need to concentrate on now is STUDYING! Lots to revise for the coming final exam.

Am anxiously waiting for the holidays! A group of us (all girls, wee!) will be going backpacking in Malacca from the 19th till 21st of April. Found an EXTREMELY CHEAP place to stay, specially catered for backpackers. It cost only RM10 per night and person! Located in the town itself, somewhere near Bukit Cina. It is called, Tony's Guesthouse. We're all really excited and definitely looking forward to it =)

Oh well, still got my exams to worry about first. 'Susah-susah dulu, senang-senang kemudian'.

I stood in front of the mirror,
Observing every part of my reflection.
I saw that I was imperfect in every single way,
And it made me cry.

I wish I was a few inches taller,
And that I'd fuller lips.
I wish my ears were smaller,
And that I'd rounder eyes.

I told myself I would love myself much more,
If I weighed a little less.
And I assured myself that people would love me more,
If I was anything but myself.

I tried profusely to cover my imperfections.
But the more I did, the more obvious it became.

I noticed a pebble on the floor,
And without hesitation,
I grabbed it with my hands.
I clutched it in my fist,
And was tempted to throw it towards the mirror,
Because I hated what I saw.

As I was about to do so,
Something held me back.

I lifted my head,
And I looked closely into the mirror again.
Standing behind my reflection,
I saw a familiar face,
A friend that I'd long forgotten.

He knew I was glad to see Him,
And He smiled at me.
He showed me the greatness that was in me,
And the hidden beauty that I was too afraid to show.

He held my chin up high,
And He wiped away the tears that was rolling down my cheeks.
Even with my imperfections,
I looked flawless.

'Jesus', I called out loud.
And with a smile He said;
'Don't worry, I'm not leaving you.
I never had and never will'.

When all has been said and done..

I blieve sometimes the best thing to do is to not do anything. Especially when so much have been said and done, saying or doing more wouldnt make any diff. And its quite exhausting having to repeat the same thing all over again from time to time. Repetition is good in certain situations but in this particular scenario, its getting on my nerves.

Im quite a patient person when relating to people, but there's only so much i can take. But im taking all of these in an optimistic way. Reminding myself that it's part of character building.

Well, thats just life. Not worth fretting about. Dont want to continuously whine the whole time. Im supposed to be enjoying life and y'know what, i am and will till my very last breath. Even when life doesnt go my way and it gets bitter in every way, yet i'll continue to smile just not bcause there's always a silver lining somewhere, but bcause ive someone greater and bigger than all my troubles. My ultimate hero-Jesus Christ =)

*cassie starts jumping up & down continuously. Stops. Gasp for air, & starts jumping again...

Everything is almost done, just need to finalize a few others. Will be doing that in uni tmr with the rest of my groupies.

Still, there's biochem mid-term paper to worry about! Hardly revised. Mentally tired and drained. *Yawns...

Will be playing badminton tmr at 8.30am tmr. Im not sure whether im capable of waking up that early. Most likely, i'll set a few alarm clocks on and get my mum to give me a wake-up call lolz. Plan B would be to get my dad to pour cold water down my face, but i'll leave that as my final option. Though its the most effective way, i dont want to get my bed all wet! lolz.

Anywayz, i need the exercise. Have been on my 'behind' for a continuos number of days, facing my laptop due to assign. etc. Have not been physically active; after every meal im on my butt again. The only time i do budged, is when i need to pay a visit to the loo or when i need more food to munch on. Terrible me! *nyek nyek

And not forgetting, i got to be in shape for my bikini that will be flying in from the 'land down under', this coming november lolz. Trix, u too ok and stop laughing lolz.

*counting the number of pages... 1, 2, 3... 25 seems pretty far ahead

Its exactly 1.20am on a sunday morning. Im up at the wee hours trying my very best to complete the biochem assignment.

Ive managed to write 7 pages on the 'functions of vitamin E', but i kind of cheated actually hehe. No, no, i did not copy and paste from another source. I just inserted lots of diagrams into it. Brilliant rite? lolz

Therefore, i shouldnt use the word 'write'. A more suitable word would be 'produce'. Ive managed to 'produce' 7 pages on the 'functions of vitamin E'. lolz

I hope the content is sufficient enough. Im determined to get an A for this biochem paper, since the java subject is totally out of reach.

Anywayz, im a lil relief that ive completed my lab reports and am almost done with the biochem assignment. But im trying to write a lil more..maybe 2 more pages or so. Hence, it'll be 9 pages in total. Its a group assign, and the minimun amount of pages that we're supposed to achieve is 25! Thats a whole lot for just one miserable vitamin.

Well, my task is not over yet. I need to start studying for my biochem paper on tues. Plenty more to revise on. And not forgetting, ive 3 more other subs to crack my head with lolz.

I think i better get going. Really need to start sleeping more. Am still recovering, at quite a slow rate but im just glad that i am =)

One of those days...

I woke up this morning hoping to feel much better, but instead aches and pains from all over my body and head greeted me. Ive not fully recovered yet, its pretty obvious. Physically, im still weak and a lil grumpy. Who wouldnt?

There's a temptation of wanting to 'pop' in a couple more of panadols down my throat, and lie in bed the whole day. Unfortunately, the load of work that is laid before me doesnt allow me to, and the additional amount of panadols wouldnt have made a diff either. I need something stronger than the ordinary panadols, and blieve me, uphamol or whatever it is called, alongside with the other brands; they are all equally ineffective.

I had planned to visit my dear trix back down in klang, but the state that im in now hindered me from doing so.

Ive biochem mid term paper this coming tues, and ive to hand in all the lab reports and assignments on the very same day. Everyone (referring to my uni mates) are all feeling a lil 'bogged-down' from it. To top-it-up, the final exam is in 2 weeks, and we're certainly not 'excited' about it.

Im praying very hard that i wont fall flat on my face by the end of all this 'trauma'.

Would love to fret more but time is just not in my hands. Im constantly trying to catch up with it.

p.s. trix dearie, i'll definitely come by next weekend and to my 'sayang' ya'tze, who is back in johor; take care yah. Dont worry yourself too much. And to miss jo, will catch up with you very soon =)

A better day

The fever is gone bt the pain still lingers. The pain that im referring to are the sore throat and headache that ive with me almost every other day. Everyone has been showing lots of concern and all have given the same remark, that i fall ill quite often. In my opinion, too often.

Stress is definitely one of the factors, but food is also another main factor. Though im studying nutrition, i dont exactly practice what ive learnt in class. Knowledge i have, tell me your symptoms and i can conclude what deficiency you might be having along with the remedies. But having to live it; eating a balance diet and exercising, its just too difficult. And me being quite a lazy person doesnt help much.

Its always easier to talk the talk, but to walk the talk? It requires lots of hard work, effort and commitment. I made the above as part of my resolution for this year, but at the rate im going? Success is most unlikely unless a miracle happens!

Well, i do believe in miracles. Therefore, its alright to hope for one. Specifically in this area.

There's this saying ' If you cant love yourself, you can never love others'. Its very true. I'll put it into another context, 'If you cant take good care of yourself, its impossible to care for another'.

I realise that if i want to start caring for others, and if i want others to listen to my advises, ive to be a living example. Which means ive got to start taking good care of myself by eating right, sleeping well etc.

I cant advice a friend to start eating healthily when i myself am a junkie. You get what i mean, right?

Well, the bible even made it very clear when God gave His second command ' Love your neighbour as you love yourself'.

Hence you got to start loving yourself, before you can genuinely love another.

p.s thank you guys for being so overly concerned. Im recovering well and doing fine =)

Overheated

Ive to admit that i fall ill quite easily, especially when im under constant pressure and stress, and when ive been deprived of sleep. Im currently down with the fever, and i'll be having a java mid-term paper on thursday which is only a day away.

There's so much to study, assignments and lab reports to be completed. There's tonnes of 'em, that im not sure where to began. Most of the time i'll be staring blankly into the computer screen, but when its time for bed, everything starts running through my head!

Its annoying cause i dont get a good night sleep. Its impossible when there's chemical equations and biological cycles, continuosly flooding my mind. And not forgetting, complicated java codings that im not able to comprehend till this very day! But God has been gracious, im getting it a lil each day.

Im gonna stop blogging here. I need to catch up on a lot of things, sleep mostly.

And yes miss jo, my days arent that interesting.

Studying about food isnt that fun actually.

=)

I slept at 11.15pm yesterday! Way early compared to my usual time. As i had mentioned in my previous blog, went to kit's hse at 10am and did the filming for our PON assignment. The whole process was hilarious lolz. We even got kit's hsemates to act out 2 scences for us, and they definitely do have the X-factor lolz. I too found out something new about myself, IM A TERRIBLE ACTRESS! lolz. I kept on smilling, when i was supposed to be acting as a sick person.
I blieve my groupies would agree on that, but they were kind enough to not mention it hehe.

After filming, we had 2 classes. After the 7pm class, we went for dinner and then to kit's hse again. Thomas tutored us on java. He made it sound so easy, like 'kacang putih' lolz. I would have him teach me than Ms Tan, anytime! I left at around 10pm. Got home, took a shower and jumped straight into bed! hehe

Well would love to write more, but ive lots to do!

See ya!

Hurry, hurry.. here i go!

Its been a tiring day, not due to the fact that i was out since 10.30am till 6.00pm but because i had very lil sleep.

I got carried away, reading articles on websites pertaining vitamin E for the Biochem assignment till almost 4am! I wasnt paying much attention to the time, cause my mind was filled with assignments, and assignments only. I had less than 3 hours of sleep. I woke up around 8am. *yawn

Ive 3 assignments due on the 21st. A lab test on the 16th. 3 exam papers somewhere in the 3rd week of march, and finals will be starting on the 10th of April. I know i shouldnt be complaining because im not the only one in such situation.

Thank God im feeling a lil more energize. Its going to be a long night for me again. Ive lots more to do and study. Java in particularly *tsk tsk.

Will be goin over to kit's hse to get started on our PON assignment, at around 10am tmr. I'll be spending the whole day in cheras, in and out of kit's hse and uni till 1opm. Thomas, kit's fren will be helping us out on java after our 7pm class. Thank God for Thomas, without him we would most likely be handing in an empty diskette for the Java assign.

Anyways i gtg. Will update more soon.

Madness is thy name for yesterday.

Yes, yesterday was plain madness. Why? Well this is how it began..

The day started out well. I sailed through the buss stat's paper with ease. I truly thank God for His constant favour. I had an hour break before the next class. Hence, my classmates and i took the opportunity to quickly 'copy and paste' our java lab hw from another friend. I had no choice, bcause from day one i'd the slightest idea about java. Therefore, ive been habitually doing so for almost every week hehe.

Out of the blue, a friend suggested to skip the next class; PON class to be specific, and head to mega mall. We've always been tempted to do so. The lecturer for PON class can bore you to death. No joke ok. She just reads off the notes, without elaborating on anything! But none of us ever dared to, cause we would all feel guilty afterwards.

Everyone was indecisive, everyone was waiting for someone to decide. Since i needed to get a new bag, the suggestion was a pretty good idea. I guess you would have guessed what had happened next; yup, we all went to mega mall.

We went to mega mall in two separate cars; I drove my SLK(Small Little Kancil) and another drove his. There was seven of us altogether. All of us were gleaming with gladness, cause we all dread having to attend PON classes.

Since it was slightly over 10am, traffic was a breeze. We reached there in seconds! hehe Sorry for exaggerating a lil. As a bonus, there was SALE! So y'know, everyone switched into shopping mode. The first shop we entered; The Island Shop, two of them bought a shirt each and ...i think i need not elaborate more lolz. In short, everyone was really happy until we got a sms from a friend in uni; she told us that the lecturer decided to have a test today due to the poor attendance. For your info, whatever test or exams that are held throughout the sem is counted and has great influence on our final results.

The happy-joy atmosphere became stale. The sms wiped out the smiles from our faces and everyone was no longer in shopping mood. Some of us got really angry, i was one of them. I mean, how could she be so inconsiderate!! We've never skipped her classes before till today. I was hoping to score an A for this paper, and missing this test would lower my probability of getting one. For those who knows me well, im rather an impulsive person. Hence, i said a lot of nasty things that i did not mean and shouldnt have said.

For the following seconds and minutes, it was awfully silent. The atmosphere was just so tensed. We all felt uneasy and deep in each of our hearts, we wished we hadnt and that we were in class right now. We wish..well, we were wishing for a lot!

But about half an hour later, we received another sms from the same friend in uni. And to our surprise, it was just a JOKE! We all shouted in glee! I felt relieved, very! At the same time, i wanted so badly to gobble and swallow all the mean things i'd said. My mum always told me; if you have got nothing good to say, dont even open your mouth. So true, so true. God pls forgive me! I wasnt a good example, at all!

Joy and happiness surrounded us again, and everyone got back into their shopping mode. We all kind of vowed not to skip classes again but we'll never know. We might just do it again. lolz.

It was definitely a day filled with mixed emotions; gladness, sadness, anger, happiness, regretfulness, relieveness etc.

There's more to tell, but i'll just save it for a rainy day =)

P.s. i finally bought a bag. A sling bag from reebok. Nice.. *tee hee

Did you know its already march?

Wow its march! I need to take a few deep breaths. Im still unable to keep up with time. Ive the tendency of writing 2005 when it comes to dates. Gosh, hopefully im not the only one doing so.

Anywayz, im having buss stat's mid term paper tmr. I think im prepared for it, but there's a few sub-topics that im really clueless about. Im desperately praying for God's wisdom. The lecturer seriously need to slow down. She teaches faster than a bullet train. She doesnt even allow us to digest it in and right away, she jumps into the next topic. Scary!

But java is worse! I dont understand much of it since the beginning of class, and i'll be having my mid term in less than 2 weeks. Honestly speaking, im computer illiterate. Was tempted to get the book titled 'Java for dummies' but im beyond dumb when it comes to java lolz. Therefore, i doubt it'll be of much help.

It was a tiring day. Lack of sleep from burning too much of midnight oil for the pass few days. I woke up around 7.30am this morning, but i went back to sleep at around 11am *hee. Thank God my classes started in the afternoon. Even though it was a short nap, it made a whole lot of diff.

Well off i go to bed now. Its 20 mins passed 12am. It'll be a long day for me tmr, so to la-la land i go! ehehe