17 days to go 0_0

If the bass player hadn't mentioned to me, I wouldn't had realized that I've only 17 more days till my final exams!
I can't believe I've been so ignorant. So selamba..my goodness!! I need a whack on the head, not literally speaking of course.
I kind of had a panic attack for a moment; the fact that I still have so much more to study, scare the wits out of me! *shivers..
Hence I shall not waste a second any longer, here I come my dahling books *coughs...haha

For the fly

Here's a pic of Kim, Teh Fly, me (I don't think I'm sexy :P) and Spunky
A big thank you to Spunky for the pic, she edited all the fancy stuff too :)

P.S. Fly, I've posted a pic with you in it, so you kind of owe me a meal :P So sorry, nothing is F.O.C nowadays hehehe

Quite a long way to go

Looking forward to the end of this semester.
Not to keen about the coming final exams, but its a phase that I've to go through for this nightmare to end.
I can't wait for the holidays, you've no idea how holiday deprived I've been.
Started studying today, I'd to practically force myself to sit at the study table which I rarely do to revise through my notes.
When I got bored, I did my devotion and I felt slightly more motivated. However since I'm only human, I got distracted with my thoughts...food...bass player...food...and food again haha.

I then left for Uni to attend one miserable class of Marketing *blek..
And as usual the lecturer kept reminding us that less than half of the class would pass his paper, and the rest of us were doomed to meet him again for the supplementary paper.
I'm going to study my a** off for this subject, even though I've only about 2 weeks till the finals :P
I've no intentions of seeing him again.
If I've to fast and pray to just past this paper, I would! Err...I'll try :P Since one of my greatest weakness is food hehe.
But I'm seriously willing to sacrifice almost anything to just pass this paper - that's how desperate I am.

The next semester will be my final semester, and it only means... I'll be graduating soon!!! Weeeee!!
I know, I know, working isn't exactly fun but I just can't wait to be self-dependent - financially speaking.
Before I get carried away, there's still finals to study for and another long semester to go :P

I miss the bass player

I miss you terribly la.. how?

: )

Thank you so-so-so MUCH for the new hp!! I'll cherish it dearly :) Hugz!

Pigs are dumb, that's the reason we eat 'em : P

Alone time

I still vividly remember the times I used to shop alone during my early years in college and university.
It felt awkward at the beginning, but I couldn't complain - I had few friends then, due to the fact that I'd just shifted up to PJ and my high school friends were all back in Port Klang.
I recall dreading my first few shopping trips alone - no one to ask if the yellow blouse looked good on me, or to have ice-cream with, or to bitch about the irritating sales lady that follows closely behind - as if I were a shoplifter, but what I truly dislike about the whole experience was that I was alone.
However, I grew to love loneliness and I found it comforting.
I did eventually make more friends, and it was really nice having people around - to share my opinions with, to laugh and to also feast with :)
Loneliness wasn't my 'thing' anymore, I felt hollow without them - I hated being alone again. I started relying too much on friends, forgetting that being alone can be good sometimes.
I'm slowly adapting to the 'alone phase' again - everyone seems to be getting busier; with studies, other friends, family, etc.
It'll take time to adjust and to be fine with it again. I know I can still count on them if I were in dire need, but everyone deserve to have some space.
I'm starting to enjoy my time alone in the Uni's library; I usually sit quietly at a corner revising through my notes, I would occasionally turn my gaze away from the notes to observe students that were walking in and out, and when I got hungry - I would quietly snack on biscuits or buns that I've secretly snuck in with me.
The first few times felt a lil weird, but I'm getting the hang of it since my home isn't the best place to be studying or just to be at, especially for this particular period of time.
I guess my second home would be Uni for now, unless anyone is willing to offer theirs? haha
Even though the occasional alone time is mandatory and enjoyable, I still prefer a companion. A friend told me, 'We weren't made to live this life alone' - and it's one of the reasons God created us :)

P.S. If anyone ever needs some company, give me a call. I would gladly do so, if I'm free :)

A happy beat

You always make my heart skip to a happy beat :)

Please make a donation

My old trusty purse. This blue Vincci purse was a b'day gift from Jo & Trix, 2 years back.
It has served me well :)

The new purse from my dad. My dad was in a generous & sympathetic mood today, hence he bought me a pirated Bonia purse from psr malam. Cost him only RM10, but its the thought that counts rite? And thank you daddy.

My one and only nokia hp. Please don't die on me so soon! I think its life-span is almost due; been switching off by itself for the past few days, and it takes quite awhile to be able to switch it on again :( I told my dad about this unfortunate event, and his only reply was, 'Your hp cacat already'. *sigh.. Duh! I know! *sobs. I doubt he'll be buying me a new one. I seriously wouldn't mind if he got me the same model, will not cost him more than RM200. I'm not implying that RM200 is a small amount, but I really do need a new hp - especially one that doesn't switch off itself whenever it pleases to.

It has been quite an 'unlucky' month for me, especially financial vice. I'm wearing my last pair of contact lenses, my hp is giving up on me, my sole casual pair of sandals is almost wearing out (thanks to my dad, who likes to hose it with water every morning when he's watering the plants), and my very comfy Giordano jeans seems to be growing more holes :(

Well all I'm capable of doing is sigh... and pray that God will start throwing down RM100 notes from heaven ..right, as if that is ever going to happen :P

I'm sorry

I am so sorry for causing you pain.
I can be quite silly at times - very silly actually.
I should have had managed my emotions a little more better.
It wasn't a huge matter, I shouldn't have magnified it - should have just let it go.
I hope you'll forgive me.
I love you so very much..

Intangible pain

The pain is so familiar.
I can't seem to collect my thoughts together.
I'm feeling miserable, and I can't get my head into completing my work.
It's frustrating.
Here goes another sleepless night...

I don't always make the right choice,
But it doesn't mean I'm not trying.
And when it comes to love,
Is there right and wrong?

I'm working hard to be a better me,
Trying hard to not compromise my believes.
But if a mistake were to be made,
Give me time and space to make right again.

The world tends to forget that I'm only mere human,
Constantly comparing me with status that were never mine.
Who are they to hold it against me?
Truth be told, you're no different than me.

I may never be the person you long me to be,
And I might not make decisions that you were hoping for.
Will you then be understanding and forgiving?
Or will you just turn your face away?

All I desire is happiness and love,
And that is what he is to me.
If God is willing to give us a second chance,
Would you not do the same?

All is well

The presentation went fairly well, even though i was burning with a slight fever.
It's such a great relief because it is finally over. I feel 20 kg lighter! haha
There are still lab reports and an assignment to complete, and not to mention the final exam is just next month. However I'm not as anxious as I was during the preparation period for the thesis presentation.
The final exam schedule has been released; will be having my physio. sc. 2 paper on the 17th of August, marketing is on the 20th, food tech is on the 21st and food eng is on the 22nd. I don't understand why can't they spread the papers out. 3 papers in a row is quite a handful, but it'll turn out alright - I guess.
Well there are many things in life that I'm not certain about, but with God I can be rest assured that things will always be better than just alright :)

Why oh why, did I had to have chocolates today? *frowns

I'm suffering from an excruciating migraine at this very moment.
The right side of my head has been pounding profusely since I returned home from uni.
I believe the chocolates (Nips) that I had this afternoon, triggered the migraine.
I've not had migraines for quite awhile, and today is seriously a terrible time to have one.
I'm still preparing for my thesis presentation tmr, hence the migraine isn't helping at all!
At times like this, I'd rather be dead. I know I sound a little crude, but this is exactly how I'm feeling right now.
Well I guess to most of you, this isn't something new.
I practically fall ill all the time, especially during the exam periods or when I'm extremely stressed out.
It sucks big time, but it's something that I've learned to live with.
As much as I would like to continue on ranting, time does not permit me to do so.
My other group members have been bombarding me with questions, and I'm getting really tired of answering - I think they malas to search the answers from the journals, and bcuz I underwent my internship at a microbiology lab; thus they expect me to know better *sigh
Do take note, I'm still a student. Therefore, I'm still a noob - so please give me a break la. Have some sympathy towards me and my overworked brain.

Do I talk a lot?

The fly said that I talk a lot. Really meh?!
Now I feel so self-conscious.

*mumbles mumbles mumbles.....

All work and no play, makes Cassie sleepy

My thesis proposal presentation is this coming Wed.
I'm having cold feet, and I'm so 'kan cheong' at this very moment - I think I might just puke.
Err..or maybe the puke-like feeling is due to the 3 large pepperoni pizza slices that I had for lunch? haha.. nah. I'm very sure it has nothing to do with lunch.
Lunch was great! And the cinnamon bread sticks were really sweet and yummy. Too bad I was already too full, or I would have had more :P I'm such a glutton *tee hee.
But the company was even better *grins :)

I still need to edit my presentation slides. However, I'm not in the mood to even look at 'em.
Have been enervated lately, because of the lack of sleep; hence I'll go off to bed right now, and will awake later to finalize them.

ZZzzZZZzzzzzz.....

Silence

These few days I feel as if I've been talking to myself.

Don't seem to be getting much response from the people who are so-called close to me.
I prefer to speak to the wall, at least I'm well aware that I won't be receiving any feedbacks; rather than being left in the blur - waiting to be acknowledged by them.
It's frustrating, but I've learned to deal with it by keeping silent; speaking when it is only truly necessary and when it is demanded of me.

Cold-treatments aren't something new to me, I practically grew up having to cope with it on a frequent basis.
Maybe it's due to my own doing, maybe not.
Out of this situation, I've learned to confide in God.
Even though He doesn't answers immediately, but I know that He listens to my every word.

Glad to have you

I was seriously caught off guard.

I had not the slightest idea that it was heading my way so soon.
I tried to cover up, but I couldn't outsmart them.
I wasn't emotionally and mentally prepared for such confrontation.
To a certain extend, I'm relieved that they are already aware of it.
Yet to another, I'm just still not ready to deal with the awkwardness and constant lectures.

The statements that they've made have caused me to doubt your sincerity, and believe me; I hate such feelings.
They don't hate you, they're just as afraid as I was - sometimes, I still am.
It's too overwhelming for me right now; and I need you to walk beside me and to carry this load with me.

I'm truly glad that you've decided to stay; even when you clearly knew that this journey wasn't an easy one to begin with.
I'm always grateful and thankful to God for you; and this time round, let us do it the right way - ok?

Circumstances around us might get tougher, and people's views and opinions may alter;
But one thing that will always be left unchanged; my love and God's towards you.
'I'll always love you, my bass player'.


Sonnet CXVI by William Shakespeare
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when an alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose's worth unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

I haven't been in the mood to blog about anything, especially today.
I'm feeling slightly down, but I'll snap out of it real soon - I hope.
Right now, I'd rather be anywhere - just not home.

Thesis is so tough la

I've finally completed the 1st draft of my thesis proposal! weee!
I've been awake for 22 hours, and counting.
Will be leaving for Uni in less than an hour.
Yes I'm sleepy, but no worries - I won't snooze off when I'm driving. Promise!
Will be going over to IJN (Insitut Jantung Negara) late afternoon, to interview the dietitians - some crappy assignment our lecturer gave us :(
Okla, I've to keep it short - need to start packing and get dressed for Uni.
Malasnya....

No words to describe the way I'm feeling right now

I've lost the momentum.

I am no longer motivated.

And home, doesn't feel like home anymore.

When life gets rough, God seems to be so far-off.

Noise noise

I was extremely glad that today's morning class was canceled, but since the drilling started - I'd rather be anywhere than at home.
According to mum, the neighbour on the right is doing some toilet renovation - hence noise pollution is inevitable.
Therefore even if I no longer have classes during the morning, I'll still leave for Uni. Can't study with the continuous drilling going on. Great! here it goes again *frowns
Thought of heading to Uni at 11am, since my marketing class only begins at 12pm - but with all the noise, I'll be leaving at 10 am instead or maybe earlier.

Well about the food engineering mid-term yest, I'll summarize it in one single word 'DISASTEROUS'!
It'll be a miracle if I do pass it.
Another mid-term paper to go, and I can only expect the worst.

My thesis proposal is still under construction. Thank God for Ms. Steph, she postponed the deadline for us.

It's going to be a hectic month, so I doubt I'll be updating frequently.

No time & no money

Currently I'm very much sleep deprived.

Desperately yearning for this week to come to an end.

Sometimes I'm so tempted to quit Uni, but I've never had the guts to do it because I wouldn't know whatelse to do.

Thank God for friends, they make life so much more bearable :)

And for the first time in many years, I haven't done any shopping since the launch of the mega sale :(

Good also la, no time and no money. Excellent combination, don't ya think?

Anyone wants to donate? :P

And I HATE Food Engineering! All the best to all my uni peeps. If we don't sail through together, at least we crumble together haha. Choy! Touch wood! :P